God Spoke To Me | Journal Entry

A relative is in need of a home. They were taken from their parent several months ago. We found out about it and that they had no place to go and needed a place soon. We said yes to taking her. Then we realized it would be a long term permanent placement that would likely end in adoption. We waffled a little because we already have a large family and have plans to move to another country as missionaries as soon as God allows us to. This seemed like it could get in the way of that. All of this was from fear and human reasoning though. If we are to live the life God has called us to laid out in his holy Bible the answer was clear.

I had a hard time trying to pray about it while at work but I needed to make a decision. I wanted to focus on my work and then have a dedicated time to pray and be with the Lord, so it was on my mind all day but I didn't really pray about it. Then on my way home I put on some worship music and invited God into my car and to come be with me and speak to me. I asked him to speak to me and give me an answer. I was crying really hard and I felt his presence. A voice in my head, that "sounded" just like my own thoughts, came to me. God spoke to me. He told me "I love you." Those were the thoughts but I felt it meant he loved me more than I could ever know. It was overwhelming. Then he said "love others." It was so simple and clear and beautiful. At that moment I knew we were supposed to take this child into our home. And then he told me "I will take care of you," and I believe he meant my family. He is in control. Lastly he said "I will speak to you when you meet with me." This brought me so much comfort. In the future when I don't know what to do I will ask God for help and guidance and he will speak to me. He also tells us in his word to love others. So my answer was also clear from reading scripture. The most common way God speaks to us is through reading the bible.

Hebrews 4:12 English Standard Version (ESV)

12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

I don't know if we will end up adopting this child but it is likely. That doesn't seem to fit in our plans to become missionaries and move to another country, but I will trust in God Almighty. His ways are higher than my ways. My heart plans my way but the Lord establishes my steps. So I will live by faith and not by site and trust in him. It is very clear in the bible that I am called to love God and love others.

Isaiah 55:8-9 English Standard Version (ESV)

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Proverbs 16:9 English Standard Version (ESV)

9 The heart of man plans his way,
    but the Lord establishes his steps.

2 Corinthians 5:7 English Standard Version (ESV)

7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Matthew 22:36-40 English Standard Version (ESV)

36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”